


Friend or Foe...

by chackyxyooj



Series: Friend or Foe... (AoT Various X Reader) [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (Y/n) is the absoloute most attractive being in the entire universe harem, Angst, Betrayal, Character Death, Crystal Titan, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Going insane, Implied Sexual Content, Oblivious Reader, Reverse Harem, Slow Burn, Titan Shifter Reader, Titan Shifters, Warrior Reader, but no explicit smut, lying, s4 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29751084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chackyxyooj/pseuds/chackyxyooj
Summary: "If I didn't know the dangers of the life I had chosen then I wouldn't have chosen it...the moment I agreed to this life was the moment the world was telling me to die. So if someone told me to die, would I? Well, I guess I would."(VariousXReader)*I do not own any images or characters in this story. Everything goes to their respective owners***Disclaimer: Chapters posted are fully edited versions only; more completed (but way more cringey) versions of the story available on Wattpad and Quotev (under the same title)**
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader, Bertolt Hoover/Reader, Connie Springer/Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Marcel Galliard/Reader, Marco Bott/Reader, Porco Galliard/Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader, Zeke Yeager/Reader
Series: Friend or Foe... (AoT Various X Reader) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186637
Comments: 9
Kudos: 34





	1. Prolouge

_Titans._

A race of giant, man-eating humanoids that serve as the catalyst for the events which lead to the destruction of the world. They are transformed humans known as Subjects of Ymir and have existed for nearly 2,000 years.

Unlike other species, Titans do not mate, and their interactions are nill with organisms other than humans; their sole purpose in life is to seek out and devour humans. 

Some Titans do not react to pain, and all will move as long as there is sunlight. Titans do not possess a complete, functioning digestive tract; they merely have a stomach-like cavity that eventually fills up with what they swallow. After consuming a certain amount, they regurgitate the contents of the cavity before they continue eating more humans.

Most Titans show no signs of intelligence and act like mindless beasts - easy to trick, distract, and deceive.

There are, however, exceptions to this rule. They come in the form of ten different titans.

The Attack Titan;

The Armoured titan;

The Beast Titan;

The Cart Titan;

The Colossal Titan;

The Female Titan;

The Founding Titan;

The Jaw Titan;

The Warhammer Titan;

And finally, the Crystal Titan.

When someone receives the powers of one of these great titans, their life may only continue for up to thirteen years. After that, they will die. There is no way to avoid this fate once someone has inherited this power. They’re only option after obtaining it, is to die.

A young lad with special blood flowing through his veins.

A pair of brothers, different in hair colour but similar in nature.

A clever girl with outstanding strategy and another with immense fighting power.

A lanky young boy without much will, easily swayed to do what others told him was best.

A boy driven by his unquestionable loyalty and determination to his country.

A naive little girl who lost everything that ever mattered to her.

These were the children chosen to become vessels of these great powers. These were the children who would cause so much destruction and death across the sea. 

These were the children who were told to die, and willingly accepted their fates.

But being nothing more than second class citizens, what other choice did they have?

\---

“(Y/n)... wake up!” A voice urged, shaking me back and forth.

“Five more minutes… and then I’ll get up,” I yawned, turning away and pulling the blankets closer to my chest.

Sleep. It was something I loved yet hated at the same time. I never quite wanted to fall asleep at the end of the day. Never wanting to succumb to the darkness and allow for tomorrow to arrive. And yet, once I allow sleep to overtake me, I never do want to wake up. Thus, at this moment, my love-hate relationship continued.

“If you insist,” the voice laughed, “I guess I’ll phone the commander and tell him you didn’t want to attend the training camp.”

As soon as the words had made it through my brain, I shot out of bed.

My vision was a little blurry and a pounding started in my head. Sleep was never too eager to let go of me. It was only when I had thrown my blankets aside did the warm embrace of sleep finally leave me alone.

A figure with similar hair of my own left the room. I was too busy getting changed to say anything to them.

They seemed familiar. Like someone I knew from a half forgotten dream.

My feet had a mind of their own as I flew down the hall and towards a set of stairs. I didn’t waste much time as I made a beeline for the front door. I had nearly made it outside when a voice stopped me.

“Don’t forget your arm band!” They called. It was the female who had woken me up.

“Do I wear the red one today?”

“Don’t you remember what dad said?” The female scolded, taking my arm and slipping a dull, yellow band into place, “we only wear the red ones on special occasions.”

I nodded and the female pulled me in for a hug.

“Try not to cause any trouble out there,” She sighed. “I can’t stand when my little sister gets herself into trouble!”

The hug suddenly turned into a tickle. 

I squirmed to escape from the female - my sister’s - grasp.

“Let me go!” I squealed, “I don’t want to be late!”

Seemingly with a heavy heart, my sister let go of me. “I’ll see you when you get home, (Y/n).”

“Bye Marie!” I smiled, turning on my toes and sprinting out the door, “I promise to do my best!”

There was a slight twitch in the female’s features as I ran down the street, but I didn't quite catch it. It wasn't quite the twitch of someone who was annoyed, but rather the twitch of someone who knew something someone else didn't.

Perhaps if I had known the consequences of my actions, I might not have left the house at all. Perhaps I would’ve stayed in bed and enjoyed a long, happy life.

Then again, I don’t think I ever had a choice in the matter.


	2. Innocent Dreams

_“Get out of the way, runt!”_

_A cloud of dust rose around me as I was shoved into the ground. Snickers filled my ears as pairs of feet jogged past._

_“Do you need a hand?”_

_I shook my head at the sound of the forign voice. That didn’t stop them from reaching out to me anyways._

_“Just leave her alone,” another voice urged, “she’s not your problem.”_

_“Come on,” the first voice urged, “the group is getting further and further away!”_

_A little bashfully, I grabbed their hand and allowed myself to be pulled along. I didn’t say anything. Not even when someone put their hand onto my shoulder._

_“Marcel, just leave her alone already!” the second boy scowled. The first boy, Marcel, just shrugged him off._

_“Are you alright?” Marcel inquired between shallow breaths. I nodded. “Do you… do you speak?”_

_My eyes shot up from the floor and met with those of a brown haired boy. He gave me a grin, the blond boy beside him simply looking away in contempt._

_“If she could speak, she would’ve said thank you already.” The blond boy murmured._

_The brunet slapped the blond’s shoulder lightly, as though telling him off._

_“She doesn’t have to do anything, you know.”_

_“I’m just saying, she could’ve shown a little more-”_

_“T-thank you!” I stammered, my face becoming flushed._

_“It was no problem!” The brunet smiled, but his expression was quick to change when the blond began to berate me._

_“Why’d you let them push you in the first place?” He jeered, “I mean, it’s giving a whole new meaning to push-over, don’t you think?”_

_The blond let out a short grunt as the brunet hit his shoulder. A little harder this time._

_“They’re… my friends…” I mumbled. This time, both of the boys turned to look at me._

_“Those are… quite the friends you have.” Marcel muttered._

_I don’t think I was supposed to hear him. It’s probably why he was so surprised when I responded to his statement._

_“They’re the only kids I know who are around my age.”_

_The three of us go silent as we make our way up a hill, too focused on our breathing to converse. Once we were all the way up, we had managed to catch up with the main group._

_“Not anymore.” Marcel suddenly exclaimed. I shot him a confused glance, and so did the blond who was accompanying him. “What’s your name?”_

_“(Y/n) (L/n).”_

_“Well, (Y/n) (L/n), you have two new friends starting today! My name is Marcel, and this is my brother, Porco.”_

_I nodded my head, “it’s very nice to meet your acquaintances, Marcel and Porco.”_

_“Geeze. She’s so formal!” The newly introduced Porco groaned, “I think she can just be **your** friend, Marcel.”_

_I looked down, but Marcel was quick to put a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about him, (Y/n). Before you know it, he’ll be begging you for your friendship!”_

_Marcel laughed. My face flared with warmth._

_It wasn’t long before our two gazes had managed to meet with one another. For what seemed like the first time in a long time, I was happy._

_It was the first moment, I think, I had ever felt my heart race like that._

_\---_

I woke up groggily, sitting up as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

Across the room lay my sister, Mina, fast asleep in a dream of her own. Well… adopted sister. While that wasn’t really the point, it might be worth mentioning that I was the one who was adopted.

It was only a year ago that titans had managed to break through wall Maria and into the Shiganshina district. That’s where they - presumably - destroyed my home, as well as my family. Though, in the fuzzy memories I had gained over time, I had started to notice key differences in the world of my memories and the world I currently lived in.

For one, the architecture was much different. The houses from my memories seemed to be built of stone rather than planks. A minor detail, and one that I usually brushed aside.

Another difference was that whenever I used to leave the house, I had always needed to wear a band around my arm. The reason? I could never quite recall. Again, it _seemed_ like a minor detail, so I would usually brush it aside.

A stirring in the room urged me to look over at Mina’s bed.

Her eyes met mine in a playful manner.

“Good morning.” I smiled. She turned away from me.

“It’s too early to wake up. I want to go back to sleep.”

Despite the ravenette’s words, the sun had already begun peeking out from behind the clouds. It would be best if I was to wake up right now. If I was to try and fall back asleep, I might forget the events of which occurred in my dreams. I wasn’t very keen on letting them get away from me just yet.

“Mina…” I began, earning a grunt in acknowledgement, “do you know anyone named Marcel or Porco?”

She didn’t reply.

“Mina!” I whined, dragging out the vowels of her name, “answer me!”

“No! There is literally no one I know with those names,” She groaned, pulling her bedsheets over her head, “now could you leave me alone? I _really_ want to go back to sleep.”

I laid across my bed in defeat. If Mina didn’t know anyone by the name of Marcel or Porco, they were probably kids I had known from before the walls were broken. Still, something about the boys rubbed me the wrong way.

They didn’t quite have the same look the others in town did.

Then again, what did I know? They could’ve been people my brain made up while I was asleep. It happens all the time, right?

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that last night’s adventures were more than just dreams.

A soft snore from across the room suddenly caught my attention.

A mischievous grin crossed my features as I made my way to Mina’s bedside. With one swift motion, I had torn the girl’s bedsheets away from her grasp and left her in a cold daze.

“(Y/n)!” She grumbled, “give it back!”

The grin on my face widened, “and why would I ever do that?”

Without another word, I threw Mina’s blankets onto the floor and bolted out of the room. I had a feeling that she wouldn’t be too happy with me after fully waking up and realising that I had placed her hand into a warm bowl of water the previous night...

\---

“This is all your fault!” Mina huffed, glaring at me as I helped her scrub her bedsheets.

After a breakfast full of lectures, the two of us had been ordered to clean the bedsheets ourselves. Mina didn’t quite think it was fair, but Mrs. Carolina, our mother, thought otherwise.

“I’m not the one who soiled my bedsheets last night!” I teased, earning me a face full of sudsy water. If it wasn’t for the fact that we were outside, we would’ve received another earful from the older lady right then and there!

“It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t decided to place my hand into warm water last night!”

I laughed in full, only earning more handfuls of water to be tossed in my face. I retaliated by doing the same to Mina. It wasn’t long before we were splashing each other with handfuls of water rather than cleaning Mina’s bedsheets.

The only thing which brought our giggles to an end was our mother calling out to us and telling us to stop playing with the water. We did.

With a completely drenched face, I took my shirt from the collar and raised it to my face.

A light metallic scratching nipped at my cheek and I dropped my shirt in surprise.

Slowly, I grasped the small locket which rested around my neck. It was nothing special; just a simple, heart shaped locket. While its origins weren’t completely unknown, I hadn’t the slightest recollection of when I had gotten it and who I had gotten it from.

However, inside the silver case was a picture of a young, smiling lady.

She looked to be about the same age as me, but the small tears which outlined the border of the image told me that the paper was probably twice my age. The girl’s facial features were slightly different from my own, a warm smile being etched onto her everlasting gaze.

The first time I had shown Mina the drawing in my locket, she was stunned. It was rare to see drawings contain such a massive amount of detail, especially one so small. 

Mina was convinced that the girl was me, but I’ve always thought otherwise.

Why in the world would I ever have an image of myself in my own locket?

“Any idea of who she might be?” Mina asked, my eyes flickering to her before going back to the image within my locket.

“Not since the last time I looked at it,” I remarked, closing the locket and returning it to its place.

“Did you ever think that she might be your birth mother?”

“No… she’s way too young. I don’t think drawings stay _this_ good for _this_ long.” I stated, wringing out the water from the bottom of my shirt, “besides, her smile doesn’t really seem… motherly. It’s warmer, and more playful… like yours!”

“You think I look like your drawing?”

“No… I’m just saying that her smile reminds me of your smile!”

“And that clarifies things… how?”

I playfully splashed Mina, her face contorting as the water hit her.

“Come on, you bedwetter. Let’s get these sheets cleaned up before we miss lunch!”

Before long, the two of us were on the roof hanging up the bedsheets to dry. Needless to say, I wouldn’t be pulling any more night time pranks on the ravenette any time soon.

By the time we had entered the house, our father was putting his shoes on and readying himself to leave. Mrs. Carolina, on the other hand, had already left.

This was a common occurrence in the Carolina household.

During the day, Mr. and Mrs. Carolina would leave the house and help out around the city.

As far as I knew, Mr. Carolina was a hard working man. He helped with the distribution of rations via the Reeves Family Company. From time to time, Mina and I would help with the distributions.

And as luck would have it, today was one of those days.

“Three child rations, please.”

“Coming right up!”

I quickly dove into the nearest box and grabbed the required amount of rations. It had already been a few hours since we had started handing rations out, yet the line still seemed to run on forever.

By this time, supplies were running low. It wouldn’t be long before we’d have to start limiting people on the amount of rations they received.

“Here you go,” I smiled. A blonde boy, who must’ve been around my age, received the rations with a slight nod. He looked distressed… like someone had taken his favourite toy and had refused to give it back. I couldn’t stop the words as they fell from my lips, “are you okay?”

The blonde, while slightly stiff, simply nodded.

A feeling of guilt suddenly pooled in my stomach, but I wasn’t quite sure why.

It might’ve been because I’d asked an unnecessary question, but the guilt seemed to stem from something much deeper. Perhaps it’s the reason I felt the urge to grab an extra pack of rations and hand it to the boy.

“Here.” I smiled. The boy looked at me in confusion.

“I… only asked for three…” he faltered.

I shrugged, “you don’t seem like much of a child. Your eyes… I can tell you’ve been through something. You’ve seen things you can never unsee. It won’t make your problems disappear, but it might help; even if just a little.”

The boy, though a little hesitant, took the fourth ration from me.

“It’s… actually my first time having to get rations…” the boy confessed.

My heart ached for him.

Mr. and Mrs. Carolina had been lucky enough to stay within the city when the Royal Government had attempted to ‘retake’ wall Maria. Even though they had over 250,000 soldiers, the troops didn’t even make it halfway to the Shiganshina district.

Barely 200 people made it back alive.

“I… don’t know what you’re going through, but whatever it is, you’ll get through it.”

“How can you be so sure?”

And for the first time, my eyes met his. They were blue, just like the ocean. An image of a sparkling blue body of water filled my vision, the blue rode off into the horizon seemingly without an end. I shook my head, there were no large bodies of water here, at least none that I’ve heard of.

“Nothing stays bad forever,” I smiled, “not even these tasteless field rations!”

Just as quickly as our gazes met, they were torn apart.

“...thank you,” the boy, before leaving, smiled, “for the rations… and your words.”

He was gone before I could even ask his name.

“That’s too bad…” Mina sighed from beside me, “to think that his guardian was sent out to fight the titans in a hopeless battle.”

“Yeah… it really is.”

I wonder… was there anyone dear to me from before the walls were breached? Back then, everything was such a blur.

I remember running through the city.

Someone was holding my hand, but I can’t quite remember who.

Their features always seemed to slip my memory whenever I tried to recall them. It was like my mind was intentionally taunting me. Like it was trying to keep something from my past hidden.

“...excuse me?”

I snapped back into reality, “sorry! Could you repeat that?”

“Three child rations, please.”

Flashing a smile, I quickly dove into the box to find only two rations remaining. Perhaps I shouldn’t have given that boy a fourth ration…

Shaking my head, I grabbed the two rations and turned around.

“Sorry, but you’ll have to wait a moment.” I apologized, “we’re running low on rations so you’ll have to make due with-”

The words stopped as I looked at the boy in front of me.

He looked familiar… almost _too_ familiar. Perhaps he was someone I had known from before the walls were destroyed.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” The boy questioned.

_My mind went hazy as orange flames suddenly clouded my vision._

_It was hard to breath. It took everything in me to keep moving my feet, let alone to continue taking shallow breaths of air. I couldn’t see where I was going, either. If not for the person in front of me gripping my hand, I was sure I would fall behind._

_“Come on, (Y/n)!” the figure urged, “we have to reach the inner wall before they catch us!”_

_I absentmindedly nodded, still focused on putting one foot in front of the other. It only took a single misstep for me to lose my balance. Only a single misstep to lose my grasp on the figure’s hand._

_I caught a glance of their eyes for a split second before they were pulled away into the crowd._

“(Y/n)?”

It was only then that my eyes finally met with his.

_His eyes were green._

I shook my head as I brought myself out of my memories, “sorry, but have we met before?”

The boy looked taken aback for a moment, but it was quickly replaced with disbelief. “...no. I don’t think we have.”

“Have I maybe… seen you around before?”

The boy shrugged, his eyes now refusing to meet my own. Before I could say anything else, the boy had snatched the two rations and left. My eyes stayed glued to the boy’s figure. Even as he weaved his way through the crowd, my eyes followed him.

He was pretty tall for someone asking for child rations.

“He left in a hurry,” Mina observed, placing the next box of rations beside me, “he didn’t even bother waiting for his third ration…”

“Mina...” I uttered, ignoring the girl’s statement completely, “did he… know my name?”

There’s a moment of silence as the boy turns the corner and disappears out of sight. Even after the boy had turned the corner, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

“Maybe he’s got a crush on you.” Mina laughed. It was forced more than anything.

I didn’t respond.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Mina looking at me. I think she was smiling.

“Maybe it’s _you_ who has a crush on _him_ ,” she teased. I immediately turned and hit her over the head.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I feigned laughter, “I’ve only just met him!”

At least… I _think_ I’ve only just met him.

\---

“I found her… but I don’t think she’ll be coming back any time soon.”

“What do you mean by that? I… where did you see her?”

The male’s voice quivers as he responds, “I… I’m not sure if this is the case, but I think (Y/n) lost some of her memories.” There’s a moment of hesitation before the male continues, “she was handing out rations in the square. At first I didn’t realise it was her, but when I saw her face, I knew. When she looked at me, though… it was like she hadn’t the slightest clue of who I was.”

The group goes silent, each of the children taking a moment to process the new information.

“It explains why she hasn’t come looking for us.”

“It’s kind of hard to believe that we never ran into her until now… “

“Look on the bright side. (Y/n) isn’t dead like we’ve all been assuming. There’s always a chance that her memories will return. I honestly doubt that they’ll be gone forever.”

“You’re right… it’s only a matter of time before she remembers us… or rather, the mission. Until then, we’ll just have to hope we can stay in close contact with her. When the time comes, she’ll look for us, no doubt about it.”

And as the three children conversed on the open field, a flare of hope was once again ignited.

They were right in thinking that (Y/n)’s memories would return, but at what cost? It was definitely something none of them would see coming.

A certain male couldn’t stop his green eyes from wandering the sky as he thought about his - former - companion.

_(Y/n)... of all the people to lose their memory, why did it have to be you?_


	3. Muscle Memory

_“It’s your movements.”_

_I opened my eyes. There was a hollow feeling throughout my entire chest. It felt like someone had taken my lungs and pushed all of the air out of them; probably because I had just been flipped from a vicious attack._

_“What do you mean?” I asked, turning my head towards the unfamiliar voice._

_“They’re predictable,” a blond haired girl clarified, “and they don’t flow well together.”_

_“Oh…” I sat up slowly to avoid getting light headed, “how can you tell?”_

_“It’s been a while since the Warrior Program started,” the girl continued, ignoring my question, “and you haven’t been able to beat either of those two girls in a single sparring match. Who even taught you to fight?”_

_“My sister,” I mumbled, “but I doubt she’ll be giving me lessons any time soon.”_

_“Why’s that?”_

_“She hasn’t come home in three weeks.”_

_The conversation goes stale. I stand up and brush off the dirt which has gathered on my clothing. When I look over at the blond girl, I notice that she hasn’t moved. She hasn’t even turned to glance at me._

_“I don’t suppose you have any tips for me?” I inquire._

_She perked up ever so slightly, in a way that one could only describe as excitement. Despite our short time being acquainted I could easily spot the sparkle of emotion in her typically monotone demeanor._

_Perhaps fighting was something she enjoyed._

“(Y/n)!” A voice called, “come on, you lazy dunderhead!”

I peek open an eye and come face to face with Mina’s features. She’s clearly annoyed with me right now. For what reason? I couldn’t quite recall.

“Just five more minutes,” I mock, turning and pretending to fall back asleep.

“Come on, (Y/n). You’re not fooling anyone.” Mina huffed, “if you don’t come home with me right now, you’re gonna find your bed... _extra_ warm tonight.”

I sprung up from the floor, looking at Mina with a playful gasp, “you wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.”

The two of us had a stare down. I wasn’t one to give up easily, and for the most part, neither was Mina. It was only due to the girl’s growing impatience that she looked away first.

“I win.” I gloated, not bothering to hide the newly formed grin on my face.

“That won’t matter when Dad finds out you’re the reason we came home late!” Mina taunted, pushing herself off the floor and sprinting down the street.

That’s right.

After helping with the ration distributions, Mr. Carolina had allowed the two of us, Mina and I, to roam the city. Of course, we were only allowed to go so far.

While there wasn’t much greenery in the Trost District, the land by the canal was particularly peaceful. Mina and I, on any regular day, would spend our free time there. It was never too crowded, yet never felt deserted. The atmosphere was always something to be enjoyed.

Of course, right now wasn’t the time to be admiring the atmosphere of the canal.

Despite Mina’s head start, I had managed to run ahead of her. This was the case for most, if not all of our races. While it might’ve been because I was more reckless than my female counterpart, I liked to tease that I was just ‘using my abilities to their fullest.’

At least, that’s what I usually say when I don’t run head first into vaguely familiar blonds.

“I’m so sorry!” I gasped, doing my best to retreat from the person’s form, “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I-”

My words are cut short as Mina rounds the corner.

“I told you to be more careful,” Mina huffed out of breath, “now look at what you’ve done!”

“It wasn’t like I was intentionally trying to run into people!”

“No,” the person on the ground spoke, “it’s partially my fault too. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“Hey!” I suddenly gasped, “you’re that boy I met this afternoon!”

A slight bubbly feeling arose in my stomach when the boy looked up. The colour of his eyes was truly captivating. Though, perhaps my staring was a bit much. It didn’t take very long for the blond boy to avert his gaze from my own.

The boy looked to have something on his mind; something other than the fact that a near-complete stranger had run him over.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” The words kind of just slip out of my mouth, “I mean, aside from the fact that I just ran into you… literally.”

The boy shrugs, “as far as I can tell, I feel fine…”

I pull myself off the floor and offer the boy a hand, “(Y/n) (L/n).”

“What?”

“My name,” I smile, still offering a hand to the boy.

“I suppose you want to know my name now, right?” He didn’t take my hand, but I don’t think it was out of spite, “Armin Arlert.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Armin Arlert.”

I extend my hand forward and, though a little wearily, Armin shakes it. His hands felt rough, but not the product of physical labour. It seemed as though he had just taken a beating of some sort. Of course, I could’ve just assumed that the scratches were a byproduct from the fall, but I didn’t quite think that was the case.

He pulled his hand away too quickly for that to be the case.

“You’re pretty formal for someone so young…” Armin mutters.

I grimace, “and I’m pretty sure we’re the same age.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you,” Armin stammers, “it was more of an... observation.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mina suddenly smiles, “she’s like this with almost every new person she meets. Quite a stickler for formalities, this one.”

“Please. It only _seems_ that way because you’re so informal,” I utter in response, “but, I _do_ have a question for you, Armin.”

Mina and Armin both look at me in interest.

“Why are your hands so roughed up?”

Armin’s body goes stiff. He looked like a child who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

While I liked to believe that I was someone who didn’t pry into others’ businesses, the way the boy began pulling away only fueled my curiosity.

“It’s nothing…” he laughs. His eyes betray him.

“I don’t think ‘nothing’ causes someone’s hands to get so scraped up like that,” I continued, “much less dirty up someone’s clothes and make them look so… _defeated_.”

Armin’s breath hitched. I must’ve hit the target.

“Something happened, didn’t it?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Armin urged, “really, I’m not worth the effort.”

“Armin, if something happened to you... if someone _attacked_ you... we need to tell someone from the Military!” Mina exclaimed.

“I wasn’t _attacked_ ,” Armin insists, only to be interrupted by a growl from his stomach.

“You received your rations not too long ago… have you not eaten them yet?” I ask.

Armin only looked away. There’s a moment of silence as something seemingly clicks inside of my head.

“Armin-” I start, but the boy cuts me off.

“I’ve already tried talking to the Military but they said that there’s nothing they can do about it.” 

“What? I don’t understand...” Mina looked taken aback by the boy’s response. To her observation, I hadn’t said anything to prompt that sort of response, so why did Armin reply the way he did?

As spontaneous as a match is set aflame, Mina suddenly came to the same conclusion I had.

“Armin! You were robbed!?”

Robbery was nothing to be proud of, much less stealing from a child. Unfortunately, the Military Police didn’t usually stoop down for just any... _regular citizen_. Even though they’re the adults who are supposed to take care of these kinds of things, they never did. They were always too busy doing whatever they wanted whenever they wanted.

“Armin, please. Even if the Military Police won’t help, we can at least get someone from the Garrison.”

_The Garrison._

Compared to the Military Police who had more of a ‘ _regal status_ ’ due to working almost directly under the king, the Garrison were generally categorized as a bunch of drunks who never took anything seriously. Well, aside from their drinking.

Perhaps that’s why Armin only looked further discouraged at the thought of going to the Garrison, much less the corrupt personnel from the Military Police.

“It doesn’t matter… I mean, they only took a few rations so-” Armin suddenly goes silent.

I immediately follow his gaze and see two men.

Aside from the fact that they couldn’t even walk straight, their faces were dusted with light pink. It was highly probable that they were intoxicated.

“It was them, wasn’t it?” I question, “they’re the ones who stole your rations, aren’t they?”

The look on Armin’s face is all the response I need.

I turn on my heels but Mina is quick to grasp my shoulder, “what are you doing!?”

“Don’t worry,” I feign a smile, “I’ll just... have a chat with them.”

“(Y/n), you _can’t_ be serious!” Mina faltered, “you’re barely half their height! I know they took Armin’s rations and, not to seem insensitive, but that’s not your fault.”

But despite Mina’s words, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it _was_ my fault.

All day, for reasons beyond me, the feeling of guilt had been building up inside of me. It actually might’ve been building up for a while, but something in the way people looked as they received their rations made the feeling more… apparent.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to shake that feeling of guilt away.

Guilt was a strange thing.

People feel guilty from things they do, _and_ things they don’t do. While it could be said that most emotions worked this way, it was the negative ones in particular which tended to hold on to people and control their actions the most.

Perhaps I blamed myself for the fact that Armin was robbed in the first place. Perhaps some part of me knew that giving him that fourth ration was wrong, and that prying eyes would do anything for a little extra food; even if it was taking advantage of a young child to steal what little rations they were given.

At least, I convinced myself that that was the reason I was feeling so guilty. I convinced myself that by getting those stolen rations back, I could chase the guilt away.

But would that really be the case?

\---

Armin P.O.V.

A queasy feeling erupted in my stomach as the (h/c) haired girl turned out of sight. She seemed to be what I could only describe as hot headed; running into a situation without thinking it through.

While I didn’t necessarily think it was a bad thing, it was definitely something shared among people who often got themselves into trouble.

A certain friend of mine particularly stood out in my mind.

Perhaps that’s what I initially wanted to say when I opened my mouth, but the look on (Y/n)’s face had left me stunned. By the time I had come to my senses, (Y/n) was already rounding the corner.

It seemed the raven haired girl, Mina, was stunned as well.

“Is she usually like this?” I inquire.

Mina turns to look at me. Though I couldn’t quite pin her expression to anything in particular, it might’ve been a cross between concern and shock.

“No,” Mina sputtered, “well, yes… but I can’t be sure.”

I tilt my head, “you can’t be sure? Aren’t you two sisters?”

“She was adopted a year ago… when the Titans…” Mina trails away from her sentence. The look in her eyes worried me.

“Even so, a year is a long time. After living with someone for that long, you’re bound to know things about them.” My eyes trail back to where I last saw the (h/c)ette, “and if she’s _this_ hot headed, I highly doubt she’d be able to keep it a secret.”

“(Y/n) isn’t as hot headed as you might think,” Mina utters, “she’s actually quite level headed. She’s… always thinking, you know?”

Always thinking… It was something I could relate to.

I’m not a particularly strong person. I know that.

It’s part of the reason why I was so easily robbed. I hated myself for being weak, but I hated myself even more for allowing people to treat me like I was weak.

That’s not to say I thought that (Y/n) had any ill intent when she gave me that fourth ration… but I could tell, even if she’d never admit it, that she pitied me.

“If she’s always thinking, why do you seem so anxious?”

This time, when Mina turned to look at me, she had an unmistakable look to her. The look of fear. “This is the first time I’ve _ever_ seen (Y/n) with that look in her eyes,” she shuddered, “ _that’s_ why I’m worried.”

Not every situation can be solved by diving in head first and expecting to make a difference. Sometimes, what’s necessary is a level head. Someone who thinks things through rather than relying on instinct.

But a person who can do both… who can abandon logic in favour of instinct and vise versa… they were the type of person who could cause change. It wasn’t something common in the children around our age, though. I would go so far as to say that it was nearly impossible. Then again, I guess traumatic and stressful times might have that effect on someone.

It reminded me of my friends. Both of them were children who’d watched their parents get murdered right in front of them. Both of them were helpless to do anything aside from watch the life drain from their eyes.

I guess in that sense, I was lucky. 

Sure, I’d lost all of my biological family in horrible tragedies too, but I never had to watch them in their final moments. Never had to watch as their bodies went stiff and their eyes became lifeless.

I wonder if _she’s_ ever had to watch as someone she loved was killed right in front of her?

“Armin, what are we going to do?”

“My friends!” I suddenly exclaimed. Mina shot me a concerned glance but allowed me to continue, “Mina, I know we’ve only just met, but I need you to do something for me. You know where the refugees from Shiganshina are residing? I need you to go there and get my friends.”

Mina cocked her head, “why wouldn’t you just do that yourself?”

“I… if you couldn’t tell, I’m not exactly ‘cadet of the year’ material. I’m afraid that by the time I get there, (Y/n) might…” I shake my head, “just- you’ll know them when you see them. One of them is a girl who wears a red scarf. She’ll be with a brown haired boy, that I’m sure of. All you need to do is tell them that their friend Armin needs help. They’ll come, I’m sure of it.”

“If I’m doing that, what are you going to do? You said it yourself, you’re not exactly ‘cadet of the year’ material.”

A moment of hesitation occurs when my eyes meet with the ravenette’s. For a moment, I found myself pitying her. I must be such a hypocrite, feeling pity for someone when I hated being pitied, myself. I guess it only goes to show that pity is something of human nature.

“I… I’m going after her,” I remarked, “this was my battle. Not yours, and especially not hers,” I turned away from the female, “that’s why I’ll do whatever I can to make sure she comes back in one piece.”

\---

“(Y/n)! Where are you?!” I called, hoping the female might respond. She didn’t.

There was a ruckus from an alley not too far from me. By the time I realised it, I was already heading in its direction.

As I neared my destination, fits of drunken laughter could be heard over the sound of moving debris. There were hints of conversation strewn between what I could only assume to be the two drunken men, but I was too far away to tell if it was coherent. Even if it was, their words were definitely slurred to the point of unintelligible.

My heart raced as I rushed to turn the corner. When I did, my eyes almost immediately met with (e/c) ones.

“Armin!” (Y/n) exclaimed, her hand falling from her (h/c) locks, “you... startled me.”

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. I was so bewildered by the sight in front of me it seemed I wasn’t able to form any coherent words myself.

Just over the shoulder of the (h/c) haired girl, I could see the two men. In all their drunken glory, the men were sitting in a pile of trash, giggling with each other as though they had been told the funniest thing in the world. Their expressions were dazed; almost dumbfound. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they looked exhausted.

Before either of the men had even noticed my presence - if they even had the capacity to notice my presence - (Y/n) had grabbed onto my hand and began dragging me away from the alley.

“I wasn’t able to get all of your rations back,” the girl murmured, “they had already eaten two of them by the time I’d gotten to them.”

“By the time you…” I trailed, my gaze still focused on the alley as it disappeared out of sight, “wait, what do you mean? (Y/n), what happened?”

“I… found them like that.” (Y/n) hesitates, “nothing happened back there… they were already a drunken mess by the time I got to them. They barely even noticed that I was there!”

Her pause was a little longer than what one would’ve thought necessary, but I digress.

“So you just… took the rations from them?”

(Y/n) nodded. For the first time since she’d grabbed my hand, she stopped walking.

_We_ stopped walking.

“(Y/n),” I mumbled, her eyes meeting mine as we stopped in the street, “I don’t want to seem ungrateful, and believe me when I say that I’m forever grateful that you did something like this for me, but... I don’t think ‘nothing’ causes someone to get so scraped up like that… much less dirty up someone’s clothes and make them look so… _defeated_.

(Y/n), if for just a moment, stiffened.

She hid her nervous look with a smile, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Armin.”

“There was just something about their faces…” I trailed away from that train of thought, “(Y/n), did you…” ‘ _attack them_ ’ is what I wanted to ask. Though, in the end, ‘ _really find them like that_ ’ was what I asked.

A moment of silence proceeds my question as (Y/n) visibly relaxes.

“Yeah,” she replies, her hand suddenly flying through her (h/c) locks, “it’s just like what I said; they were already a drunken mess by the time I got to them.”


	4. Half Forgotten Life

_Pain coursed through my back as I slammed into a wall. I do my best to get off the floor, but a swift kick sends me into a pile of nearby debris._

_A dry cough erupts from my chest._

_Cruel laughter fills my ears. I use the wall to help support my weight as I stand._

_Pain flares in my body for a moment, then disappears._

_The laughter seems to stop as my hands fly through my hair._

_It happened in a moment. A moment so quick I couldn’t be sure if what happened was my doing, or the work of the alcohol in the mens’ own bodies._

_A fist flew my way, but a single step was enough to doge. He haphazardly flew past me, arms outstretched towards the wall he was headed towards. I moved before I even realised he was falling. I think he was falling because I had tripped him._

_Inaudible words flew from the man’s mouth as the other lunged towards me._

_My body immediately moved, bending under the man’s reach and flipping him over my smaller form. He landed on the floor with a heavy grunt._

_The moment I looked over my shoulder at the defeated opponents, a feeling of satisfaction bubbled inside my chest. I wasn’t quite sure if I liked it, but the feeling was… familiar. As was the way I felt with so many things I did, the inexplicable feeling of familiarity washed over my entire being._

_I just couldn’t seem to remember why._

“You girls have been particularly quiet since you got back,” Mr. Carolina observed, “did something happen while you were out?”

There was a moment of silence as Mina and I exchanged glances.

In response to Mr.Carolina’s question, I shook my head. Mina only fiddled in her seat.

It hadn’t been long after Armin found me that Mina had found me too. It seemed that she had brought two children along, but there was nothing about them I recognized.

When I first saw them, I immediately noticed that the girl was a different race. Someone from the Asian Clan, perhaps? While my information was limited, as most of my memories were, I could only vaguely remember meeting people of similar descent.

Beside her had stood a male. Compared to his female counterpart, there was nothing particularly special that stood out about him. Though, I will admit; I found his fired up spirit... endearing.

“What’s going on!?” The male had exclaimed as soon as he caught sight of his blond companion, “Armin, you needed help?”

Armin had opened his mouth to respond, but stopped as soon as the asian girl began speaking, “Armin, are you okay? What happened? Was it her?”

The girl had taken a step forward, but Armin was quick to defuse the situation.

“No! I’m... fine now. Everything’s fine.”

After a quick explanation of what had happened, or rather, repeating to the group the story which I had told Armin, the confusion seemed to have finally cleared up. While the brown haired boy, whose name I learned was Eren, still seemed fired up, the asian girl, Mikasa, became quite calm.

A short conversation between Me, Mina and the three newly acquainted children lead to them heading back into town to rest for the night.

Mina and I didn’t waste any time going home, either.

While we had decided not to tell our parents about what had happened earlier in the day, I doubted that Mina would be able to keep today’s events a secret under the intense stare of our shared father.

Mina was never much of a liar; being nearly honest to a fault. She wasn’t someone who liked conflict and always wore her heart on her sleeve. 

While this often led to the two of us getting in trouble from our parents, at the end of the day, I loved her for it; I could never hate someone who I’d grown up with, after all. Well… I guess we didn’t ‘grow up together,’ but I still regarded the ravenette as someone special to me.

That being said, when Mina opened her mouth to respond, I started talking before her, “we met a boy in the city.”

Mr. Carolina quirked a brow, “oh? And how did that go?”

Again, Mina opened her mouth to respond, but I talked in her steed, “he was nice. Very polite and quite respectful.”

As the guilt continued to eat away at my raven haired companion, I noticed that she started fiddling with her hands underneath the table. I doubted that she’d be able to keep it together much longer. That didn’t stop me from holding to hope that she wouldn’t let up.

“I don’t suppose you’d mind me meeting him, would you?”

I groaned, “geez! You’re acting like Mina or I got a boyfriend!”

“I’m just saying, you girls were home pretty late today. I’m just making sure that this new _friend_ of yours won’t be a negative influence on the two of you!”

I clenched my jaw when Mina’s fidgeting came to a screeching halt.

“(Y/n) got involved in someone else’s robbery.”

“Mina!” I immediately huffed, but it was already too late.

“She _what_?” Mr. Carolina, while a usually level headed person, could sometimes let his emotions get the best of him. Of course, that’s not to say that he’d ever hurt anyone. I don’t think he could even hurt a fly.

“It’s not what you think!” I protested, earning a stern glare from the male across the table, “someone stole the boy’s rations! He clearly didn’t deserve to starve and the men who took it were _clearly_ drunk so-”

“The two of you know better than to get involved in someone else’s affairs!” Mr. Carolina started, but stopped as soon as Mrs. Carolina put a hand on his shoulder.

Mrs. Carolina almost always knew what to do and say when someone wasn’t feeling their best. Whether that be when they’re sad, angry or scared, she just knew. I suppose it was because she was a mother that she knew. A motherly instinct, some might say.

“Did you two at least tell someone from the Military?”

“Yes!” I looked away, “well, no… but what would they have done?”

Without seeing his face, I could tell that the older male was now sporting a disappointed expression, “that doesn’t matter, (Y/n). Nothing is solved by pointless violence. An eye for an eye and the whole world would go blind.”

“Dad! He’s just a kid!”

“And you are too!” Mr. Carolina rubs his temples for a moment, catching his breath as he does so, “I know you mean well, (Y/n), but you shouldn’t take those kinds of matters into your own hands. Please… don’t do something that wreckless ever again.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. I suppose that some part of me already knew that I had lost the argument. Instead, I simply nodded my head. In any case, it would be the fastest way to get the older male to stop lecturing me.

\---

The night ended rather quickly after dinner.

As soon as dinner was over and the dishes were washed, I went upstairs to retire for the night.

While what Mr. Carolina said made sense, it didn’t seem realistic. At least, it didn’t seem realistic to _me_.

I guess that’s why the two of us, Mr. Carolina and I, often butt heads.

He believed that kindness was the best way to make a difference in the world. He believed that no one could get anything done by brute force and manipulative tactics; the only thing achieved by such means was death and misfortune.

And in an idealistic world, kindness _would_ be the deciding factor on how the world was run.

But in _this_ world… this cruel world we were born into… kindness was only ever trampled on by those in search of glory.

That didn’t mean that I found kindness useless. Rather, I refused to let kindness be my downfall.

My distaste for the Military Police and dislike for the Garrison only strengthened my desire to join the Scouts. While I might’ve been foolish to think so, and even more so to tell Mina about it, I was going to join the scouts. 

The tragedy which befell that of humanity seemed to open my eyes to the world around me.

The world needed changing; and that wasn’t going to happen by sitting by and being kind to people.

\---

Mina P.O.V.

“(Y/n),” I whispered from across the darkened room, “are you still awake?”

“Yes…” (Y/n) responds, though I can tell she responded half heartedly.

I take a breath, doing my best to calm my nerves, “are you… really thinking of joining the Scouts when we’re older?”

“Yeah… why?”

I curse my running nose as I sniffle, turning in my bed to try and hide the awful noise, “I… I think I’m going to join them too.”

“Really?” (Y/n) turned in bed towards me, “and what brought about this new revelation?”

Though light was limited, I could just barely make out the features of (Y/n)’s face. She looked tired, my question probably being the only thing to have prevented her from succumbing to the long awaited embrace of sleep.

I wonder if she could see my face just as clearly as I saw hers?

I was sure that my eyes were puffy, but she’d probably just chalk it up to the fact that I was tired after a hard day’s work.

“It was just that… today, it felt like you were an entirely different person,” I mumbled, “when you ran off after those two men… I just felt so _useless_. Even though I wanted to stop you, I just _couldn’t_. It’s not because I couldn’t physically, because I totally can, but…” I take a moment to breathe before continuing, “I think what you did today was right; and who am I to stop you from doing something even _I_ think is right?”

My face contorts to what I can only assume to be an attractive expression as I try to suppress another sniffle, rubbing my eyes to get rid of the light dampness which had fallen down my cheek, “don’t tell dad though, okay?”

“The fact that you want to join the Scouts, or the fact that you thought what I did was right?” (Y/n) smiled, but I don’t think she was being insensitive.

I don’t think she’d ever admit this to me, and I don’t think I’d ever want to admit it myself, but (Y/n) knew that what she did today scared me. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t great at hiding my emotions, but I didn’t think (Y/n) was that great at hiding her emotions either.

Whether consciously or not, (Y/n) was definitely trying to cheer me up.

While I didn’t feel that much better, I still gave (Y/n) the reaction that she was hoping for.

“(Y/n)!”

“I’m just teasing!”

I huffed before turning away from my (h/c) haired companion, “goodnight.”

And from the sound of her voice, I could tell that she too, smiled as she turned around, “goodnight.”

A period of silence is quick to brew between us. It’s long enough that either one of us might have been able to fall asleep, but neither of us had. I don’t think _she_ realised that, though.

It isn’t often someone lets themselves be seen as vulnerable in front of someone else.

It’s a social construct to always appear strong; even if it’s all just a font. No matter how badly you might be hurting, you can never show weakness. Not even in the face of death itself.

Of course, I’d never seen a titan before, and joining the scouts would only increase those chances, but I felt confident. Unlike (Y/n) herself, I had never seen the terror of the titans before. I didn’t know what was out there the same way she did, and I think that scared her.

“ **Mina**... please never leave me alone, okay?”

“... okay.”

\---

_(Y/n) P.O.V._

_I was never fond of conflict. Whether it be arguments between myself and someone else or between people who were dear to me, it affected me all the same._

_There was just something about it which caused a heavy feeling in my chest. The familiar stinging of tears was always quick to follow. No matter how much I told myself not to let them drop, the tears seemed to have a mind of their own._

_It was a feeling I hated, yet could never prevent._

_Right now, as I pushed myself away from the floor, was one of those moments._

_They weren’t the type of people my mother would have wanted me to be friends with, but I couldn’t make them leave me alone. They seemed to gain some cruel sense of enjoyment from watching me suffer._

_I never understood that about them. No matter how much I suffered, they would only laugh. Were my reactions what they found amusing, or was my pain funny to them? I’m not sure if they were intentionally being mean to me, but I’m sure that wouldn't have excused their behaviour anyways._

_“Come on, (Y/n)!” they jeered, “not gonna cry, are you?”_

_I caught a flash of blonde in the corner of my eye. Though her eyes never met with my own, I could tell she was watching. Waiting. Wondering what I would do this time._

_I wonder… how much harsh training does someone have to go through before it becomes second nature?_

_Days? Weeks? Years?_

_I could only assume it to be a long time, but I digress. Shaking the notion away, I finally stood up to face my opponents._

_“I… don’t want to be your friend anymore,” I muttered._

_“Wait, what?” one of the girls, Olivia, was genuinely surprised, “why?”_

_The other girl, Victoria, simply scoffed, “is it because your sister’s gone? Is that why you don’t want to be our friend?”_

_I turned away, “leave her out of this. I don’t have to give you a reason for not wanting to be your friend,” I remarked, “but if you **really** need one, it’s simple; I just don’t want to be your friend anymore.”_

_“Is it because you can’t beat me in a fight?” Victoria taunted, “honestly (Y/n), you’re such a poor sport for deciding not to be our friend due to your own pride. Go ahead! Walk away. You’re not worthy of inheriting a titan for Marley anyways!”_

_I stopped in my tracks, gritting my teeth as I spoke, “degrading me won’t change the fact that you’ll never know what it is to actually have pride.”_

_Rushed footsteps approached from behind, causing my heartbeat to reverberate throughout my entire body._

_I’m not quite sure why, but someone important to me once said to never hurt someone I care about. Of course, we were only sparring… but perhaps the reason I never fought back was because I **wouldn’t** have held back. It might’ve been the reason why I had refused to lay a hand on either of my former friends. _

_I think that in some way, I resented them for the way they treated me. Even though I refused to acknowledge it myself, somewhere deep down, I just **knew** that they weren’t people I truly cared for._

_But… after finally allowing myself to truly stop caring, I no longer felt the need to hold back._

_A quick step to the side and kick to the heel was enough to send the girl sprawling to the floor. It might’ve been wrong of me to feel this way, but a small feeling of satisfaction bubbled in my stomach at finally being able to fight back._

_Victoria got up slowly, pushing herself from the floor and glaring at me._

_She lunged._

_I dodged._

_She attempted to punch me._

_I deflected her punch and pushed her away._

_She fell onto the ground._

_“Enough!” Victoria screamed rather suddenly, “I… I hate you, (Y/n)!” And when she turned to look at me, I noticed tears slowly falling down her face._

_It’s strange..._

_Even though I was the one getting screaming at, she was the one who was crying. The tears that once threatened to escape my own eyes were long gone. Now, when I looked at her, the only thing I felt… was pity._

_After being treated poorly for so long, one would've expected me to hate her - I expected to hate her! - but I didn’t._

_The only thing I felt was **pity**._

_It was a quick moment, almost the blink of an eye, but my hands suddenly flew through my hair._

_And with tear filled eyes, Victoria had lunged at me._

_I didn’t dodge. This time, I stood my ground. Within a heartbeat, I had successfully knocked over my opponent and sent her crashing into the ground._

_A cloud of dust surrounded the girl’s unconscious figure._

_Just as quickly as I started approaching, I stopped._

_Olivia had thrown herself in front of Victoria._

_“Please…” she pleaded, “don’t hurt her anymore, (Y/n). What we’ve done… what **I’ve** done… I could never expect you to forgive us for it… but please… you don’t understand what it’s like to be helpless. What it’s like to watch someone you care about get beaten down in front of you and not have the ability to do anything about it!”_

_There’s a long pause of silence as Olivia and I exchange glances. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so… scared._

_I opened my mouth to reply but the sound of a whistle stopped me._

_“We’d like to thank all of you for participating in the Warrior Program this year. However, all necessary candidates have been chosen. Everyone except the chosen candidates must return home before the sun sets.”_

_A hand landed onto my shoulder. I nearly squealed at the contact._

_“Cadet (L/n), you are required to enter the facility in order to meet your fellow Warrior Candidates.”_

_I immediately nodded, not letting any signs of excitement show through to the surface._

_“Congratulations, (Y/n),” Olivia mumbled, pulling Victoria’s arm around her shoulder to help her walk, “I know you’ll serve our country well.”_

_I didn’t reply; instead, I only nodded, refusing to make eye contact with either of them as they walked by. It was only after they walked past me did I lift my gaze from the floor to watch their backs as they walked away._

_A feeling of jealousy was slowly brewing in my stomach, but I forced it away._

_Why would I be jealous of them? I was the one who became a Warrior Candidate, not them! I would be the one who got to play a great part in serving my country!_

_Sill… there was something inside of me which longed to have what they did._

_It wouldn’t be until years later that I understood the reason why I felt the way I did that day._

_\---_

_“Please introduce yourself to your other Warrior Candidates, as well as your superiors.”_

_Just like that, everyone in the room began introducing themselves._

_There were a handful of children who stood alongside me in the large room. Out of all children selected, I only recognized a handful of them._

_There was Marcel and Porco who I had previously met, though I hadn’t actually talked to them all that much. Then, there was the blonde girl; the one who I’d talked to a few days prior to today. I never did catch her name._

_Even though she’d helped me quite a bit, I hadn’t had time to ask her name. Though, I guess in the end, it didn’t really matter._

_Aside from those three, there were four other children I had yet to meet._

_For the most part, the introductions were short._

_The black haired girl introduced herself as Pieck Finger. It seemed quite effortless when compared to the male after her, Bertholdt Hoover, who was a little more timid. Not too long after, a blond boy stiffly introduced himself as Reiner Braun._

_The last unknown boy to introduce himself, Zeke Jaeger, was noticeably older than any of the other Warrior Candidates._

_Once Zeke Jaeger had introduced himself, the attention in the room quickly shifted over to the final candidate; me._

_I cleared my throat, bowing in a respectful fashion as I recited a long anticipated introduction, “my name is (Y/n) (L/n)! I’m very proud to be able to call myself a Warrior Candidate for the country I love so much. Thank you for having me!”_


	5. A Place to Remember

The day Mina and I left for the training camp was a day filled with tears.

Though Mr. Carolina didn’t fully agree with our choice, he still sent us off with a smile. While I’d like to think that I would’ve been fine, I was sure that Mina would’ve been devastated had he not been there.

Mrs. Carolina had shed some tears as she pulled me in for a hug. I relished in the feeling of her arms around me.

“Don’t worry, Mom,” I smiled, “we have each other, so we’ll be fine!”

The older woman wiped a tear from her eye, “I know, I know. It just won’t be the same around here without the two of you.”

Mina went in for a hug with Mrs. Carolina.

In the awkward silence, I looked over to Mr. Carolina. No words had to be exchanged to understand what was going through his brain. Although it seemed like the two of us were constantly fighting, we could understand one another.

I guess it was an unspoken bond between two people who cared.

“I’ll miss you guys.” Mina sighed, finally pulling away from the embrace with the older woman.

I put a hand on Mina’s shoulder, “come on. We’re supposed to arrive before noon.”

The ravenette gave a short nod before following after me. I could tell by the way she took deep breaths that she was trying not to cry.

“Be careful out there you two!” Mrs. Carolina called.

“Don’t worry!” I hollered in response, “we will!”

We were only a few paces away when Mina had to stifle a sniffle.

“Are you okay?”

Mina nodded.

“It’s because this is your first time away from home without Mom or Dad, isn’t it?” I sighed when Mina looked away, “you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.”

“You already know I’d never leave you alone.”

I smiled, “and I’d never leave you alone either.”

\---

The first thing we were made to do upon arriving at the training camp was to change from our regular clothes into the training corps uniforms.

We were only given one demonstration on how to properly equip the entire uniform and the several pairs of straps were not an exception. They said that it was our ‘first task as a trainee,’ and that ‘we would need to learn how to equip said gear as quickly as possible for when we joined an actual regiment.’

To say that the straps looked daunting would be an understatement.

We had half an hour to make it out onto the field or else we would be sent home. ‘Not cadet material’ is how they described it.

I was one of the first to finish gearing up. Mina was having a little bit of trouble but assured me that she would be out shortly after me. I guess that’s why I now found myself heading into the large open field that was the training grounds, all alone.

“Name?” A person with a clipboard asked as I exited the cabin.

“(Y/n) (L/n),” I responded, though it was less of a response and more like instinct. There wasn’t anything particularly interesting about the person who had asked my name. At least, they weren’t someone who looked to be important.

“Row 4, Cadet (L/n).”

I nodded and began moving almost immediately.

There weren’t really a lot of people that I recognized, much less that I actually knew. If I had to guess, there were probably only a handful of people who looked friendly enough for me to want to approach.

It was strange. I couldn’t quite shake the feeling of deja vu. 

Deja vu is a strange thing. It’s a term which derives from the french and alludes to the feeling that someone has already experienced the present situation. I don’t think there was another word which described the situation quite so well.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that they were about to start making us compete against one another for some special sort of privilege or something!

“(Y/n)?”

It took a moment for me to identify who had called my name but once I saw them, I knew.

“Armin!” I smiled, “I… didn’t expect to see you here.”

While I wasn’t the best of friends with the blond boy, we’d occasionally see each other along the streets of Trost. We’d usually exchange short pleasantries, but never really conversed more than that. One of us was always busy doing something or other.

Armin grimaced, “well, I wouldn’t exactly expect to see myself here either.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that!” I apologized, “really! I think I’m just surprised over the fact that you aren’t with Mikasa or Eren.”

Armin's shoulders relaxed, “I see. Well, I guess it would’ve been surprising if the three of us _hadn’t_ decided to join the Training Corps together.” The blond remarked, “they’re just a few rows back.”

“(Y/n), Armin!” Mina smiled.

While I hadn’t really been paying attention, the fact that the field was significantly more filled than before was undeniable. There were about a dozen rows of cadets. I wasn’t even entirely sure how many were in each row. There were just _that_ many of us.

“I thought you were gonna be faster,” I mocked, earning a slight glare from the ravenette.

“Har har. Very funny (Y/n).”

“Aw. You know I didn’t mean it like _that_.”

Mina huffed and I giggled in response. I don’t think I could ever get bored of Mina’s reactions. Though, that might’ve been what a certain blonde was thinking about me when I began to laugh at my own antics.

“All cadets, stand at attention!” The voice was deep and demanded attention; so much so that any chatter between cadets was immediately ceased.

As for me, I found myself standing at attention before I could even register what I had done.

“My name is Keith Shadis. You cadets, however, will refer to me as Sir. Do you all understand?” 

A cold silence grasped the crowd.

It was as though no one knew how to respond. This must’ve only served to irritate the older man. 

“I said, DO YOU ALL UNDERSTAND?”

“Yes, Sir!”

Shadis rolled his shoulders back in a satisfied manner, “as of today, you are officially members of the Training Cadet’s 104th training unit. Unfortunately for you, I, Keith Shadis, will be in charge. I’m not here to give you a warm welcome, nor did I ever have the intention to. All of you are currently nothing more than livestock, waiting to be eaten by the Titans. In fact, you’re worse than livestock!”

Commander Shadis pauses as he looks over the field of us new recruits, a look of disgust seemingly forced onto his features, “this is why, for the next three years, I’ll train you useless imbeciles. I’ll teach you how to fight the Titans.”

The commander takes a step forward, “then, when you finally face a real titan after your three years of training, will you finally be more than just food? Will you be a glorious soldier to protect these walls, or will you become a mighty champion of mankind who will destroy the Titans once and for all?

If you can’t live up to even _my_ standards, you’d better off tending to the fields.”

Shadis suddenly makes his way up a recruit in the first row. There’s a stiff tension in the air as he stares the cadet down, but it’s nothing compared to when he began showering the recruit with a barrage of insults.

Needless to say that when the commander moved on to the second row, they were more terrified than the last.

I wonder why it was that the commander was berating us new recruits? I mean, we already had dwindling self esteem as it was. I don’t think it would take much to break more than a few kids by screaming in their faces.

I did notice that from time to time, the commander would skip over a cadet or two. It was strange, but I don’t think it had anything to do with the commander’s own biases.

Not everyone had lived equal lives to each other. Some children had the luxury of never seeing a titan while others had. A large humanoid figure was one thing, but when that humanoid creature wanted nothing more than to bite you in half and kill you on sight? It was a bone chilling sight that no one would be able to forget.

Or at least, that’s what I thought as the commander and I locked eyes.

I immediately felt the hairs on my neck stand at attention.

The commander’s gaze was stern and neared the point of being cold. While something in my mind was telling me to feel threatened, my body remained completely calm. It was like I wasn’t even in control.

The commander walked past me and towards Mina.

“What is your name, cadet?”

“M-Mina Carolina?” she squeaked.

“I couldn’t hear you,” the commander boomed, “What, cadet, is your name?”

“Mina Carolina, Sir!”

“And where are you from?”

“The Trost District, Sir.” Mina replied, not meeting the eyes of the commander. She shook ever so slightly every time the commander spoke.

“Look at me when I’m talkin to you, cadet! Or is it that you prefer to look at the ground?”

“N-no, Sir,” Mina lifted her gaze from the floor.

“You best learn to look at the people you speak to, cadet, or else it’s off to the fields for you!”

Without hesitation, the commander turned away from the ravenette and to the next person standing in line. In the corner of my eye, I noticed as Mina exhaled a shaky breath. It was only at this moment did I realise that I was holding in a breath of my own. That and the fact that I had been digging my nails into the palm of my hand.

There was a slight stinging sensation as I relaxed my body, but it was quick to disappear.

“Fourth squad, face about!”

Not a moment after I turned, I made eye contact with a blonde girl. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun and her eyes were a light blue. Though nothing else immediately jumped out at me, I noted the fact that her eyes widened ever so slightly when our gazes connected.

I quickly broke away when Shadis walked between the two of us.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Jean Kirstein from Trost, Sir!”

“And why the hell are you here?”

The boy stiffened for a moment, “to join the Military Police Brigade... and reside in the inner district, Sir.”

Aside from the fact that my grip tightened, not much was given away about the fact that I didn’t like the male. His only redeeming quality as of right now would’ve been his honesty, but even that was outweighed by the cocky tone he had spoken with.

“I see… so you intended to live in the Inner District?”

“Yes, Sir.”

There wasn’t enough time in the world for the boy to have prepared himself for the headbutt that flew his way. He fell to the floor almost immediately. 

I guess he couldn't stand the pain.

“Who gave you permission to sit, cadet?!” The commander pulled away from the male, “if you can’t even handle _that,_ you’ll never make it into the Military Police Brigade.”

As the commander turned towards the next cadet, I found myself immediately intrigued by the black haired boy. I don’t think there was anything about him which immediately jumped out at me as interesting (aside from his freckles) but with one look, I felt as though he was someone I knew. Like someone I’ve known for a long time.

“What is your name, cadet?”

“Marco Bodt from Jinae in wall Rose’s southern district, Sir. I came to join the Military Police Brigade and pledge myself to the King!”

“Is that so?” the commander jeered, “that’s a noble objective, but you should know that the King doesn’t want you.”

_“Nobody wants us here. Why is that, Papa?”_

_An older man, someone who’s face I couldn’t quite recall, looked down on me with sad eyes, “we’re descendants of devils, (Y/n). It’s simply the price we pay for those who’ve done wrong before us.”_

_“But you’re not a devil, Papa,” I exclaim, feeling as my face scrunches into a smile, “you’re the bestest papa in the entire world!”_

_The older man stifles a laugh, but he doesn’t respond. He simply holds my hand as we continue traversing the streets of a vaguely familiar world. I’m not quite sure if I was remembering it right, but I could’ve sworn I saw a bright red band in the corner of my eye._

_I wonder what it might've meant?_

“Listen up, Connie Springer. This was one of the first things you were taught!”

The demanding tone of Commander Shadis pulls me from my daydream, “that salute means you’re offering up your heart to the King! Is your heart on your right side?”

It took a moment for me to locate where the commander was yelling from, but it was a lot simpler than I initially made it out to be. While the boy standing in front of the commander looked absolutely horrified, a certain brown haired girl was what my attention was drawn towards.

And it would seem that the commander was drawn towards it too.

“What… do you think you’re doing?” The commander growls, dropping his previous victim and stalking towards the brunette.

The girl didn’t react to the commander’s question. At least, not in the way he wanted her to.

“I’m talking to you, Potato Girl! Who the hell are you?!”

There’s a moment of hesitation as the ‘Potato Girl’ chokes down another bite of the steamed vegetable, “I’m Sasha Blouse from Dauper in wall Rose’s southern district, Sir!”

“What the hell do you have in your hand, cadet?”

“This?” the girl cocks her head, “it’s a steamed potato. They’re quite delicious and are-”

“I wasn’t asking about the potato, dimwit! I was asking for the reason why you thought it was appropriate to be eating while I was talking!”

“Well, I found it.” Potato Girl answered matter of factly.

“You found it? You mean, you _stole_ it?”

“Well, Sir, it was just begging to be eaten! So I took it!” The girl opens her mouth to continue her explanation, but is stopped by what I could only assume to be the commander’s menacing expression. Before I knew it, the brunette had broken her potato into two portions and had offered the (significantly) smaller portion to the commander.

“Here,” she sighed, “you... can have half.”

\---

“Wow,” I gasped, “she’s... still running.”

By now we had gotten a tour of the training facility, as well as the locations of our assigned cabins. The girl and boy cabins were separated for what were probably obvious reasons; the same being applied for the showers.

It was probably worth mentioning that we hadn’t chosen beds yet. After the tour, we had been allowed to change from our uniforms into casual wear, but no beds were assigned.

“Yeah… she’s been at it for nearly five hours now!” The voice wasn’t familiar, but the face was familiar enough. From what I could recall, it was Eren. While I’d like to think that my memory wouldn't fail me, there was always a chance that I was wrong.

By the time I had opened my mouth to respond, another boy began talking in my steed.

“Her reaction to when the commander told her to run until she dropped was nothing compared to when he told her that she wasn’t getting any food!” It was the black haired boy from earlier. Marco, if I recalled correctly.

I probably would’ve laughed at his joke if not for the faint fluttering my heart had suddenly decided to practice. 

No better time for adrenaline to kick in than when you’re in no danger whatsoever, am I right?

“What’s that over there?”

“Dropouts.” Mina lamented, “they requested a transfer to the reclaimed lands.”

“Already? It’s only the first day!” Armin exclaimed.

“I guess that’s just how it is,” I sighed, watching as the cart turned out of sight, “training to kill isn’t something for the faint of heart. I imagine it takes a lot more to kill a titan than someone might think. It’s a living thing too, after all.”

“You don’t feel sorry for the Titans, do you?” I turned to meet the gaze of the person who had asked the question.

It was Eren.

“I… of course not.” I look away from the brunette's intense gaze, “I mean, the only thing they’ve done for humanity is cause misery, right? Why would I ever feel sympathy for creatures like that?”

Silence is the immediate response from the newly acquainted cadets around me. Mina puts a hand on my shoulder. I subtly feel myself relax.

“That reminds me. We never got to learn either or your names!”

I turned to face the black haired boy, “(Y/n) (L/n), sister to none other than Ms. Mina Carolina over here.”

Mina rolls her eyes at me, “don’t call me ‘Ms. Mina Carolina!’ It makes me sound old!”

“Wait… you guys are sisters?” Marco questioned, “what’s with the different last names?”

“Well, I was adopted. I believe I used to live somewhere in the Shiganshina district when I was growing up, but…” I trail away from my sentence.

“I’m Eren Jaeger from the Shiganshina District,” Eren pipes up, breaking the tension that had gathered between the small lot of us, “the same as Armin over here.”

“No way! So you’ve both seen Titans before?!”

I stiffly shift in place, “it’s… not something I remember too well. Maybe Eren is willing to share his story instead? I’m sure he’d be far better at telling his recollections than I would.”

The small group of people suddenly turned towards Eren for answers. I noticed a small spark of excitement in his green eyes.

Now having successfully shifted the subject of conversation, I moved around the small crowd of people to slip into the mess hall.

Opening the door to the mess hall was, ironically, like a breath of fresh air.

As much as I enjoyed the fresh air readily available from being outside, there was just something so comforting about the smell of warm, fresh food.

After grabbing a tray from the back of the room, I quickly came to realise that there weren’t many people I knew. Scratch that. There was not a single person in the room who I knew the name of and was ready to strike up a conversation with.

I guess it really came down to how much I wanted to engage in conversation right now...

I sat down at an empty table.

While I didn’t particularly consider myself as someone anti-social, there are just times when someone would rather spend time alone than talk. I mean, I particularly enjoyed silence. That wasn’t to say that I like silence all of the time, of course.

I found silence to be a time in which I could think.

There was no one else to judge me except myself. One could argue that you are your worst critic, but you also might be the only one who understands what you’re going through.

I guess I just found comfort in the idea of having a space of time all to myself.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

And there goes the silence.

I looked up to see who had addressed me. In front of me was a petite blonde; she was particularly cute.

“Nope! It’s all yours.” I smiled. Almost at once, the petite blond took a seat across from me.

I guess I had been spaced out for way longer than I initially thought. It seemed that the ever increasing group of people around Eren had made their way inside and were now conversing a few tables away.

While I wasn’t particularly looking at her, I couldn’t help but notice the blond’s paranoid behaviour as she looked from side to side.

“Are you okay?” I ask, “forgive me for saying so, but you’re looking a little… paranoid.”

The girl simply smiles, “I’m perfectly fine!”

“Is that so? I’m not sure that loaf of bread would agree with you.”

The petite blonde suddenly goes stiff, her eyes now refusing to meet my own.

“It’s for Potato Girl, isn’t it?” I laughed, leaning in towards the blond, “don’t worry! I won’t tell anyone.”

Sighing in relief, the girl let herself relax.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s His-” the girl starts but seemingly has to stop herself, “-hysterical when you find out. W-what I meant to say is that my name is Christa Lenz.”

I quirk a brow at the girl’s strange phrasing, but pay no mind to it.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Christa.” I extend my hand towards the petite blonde, “my name is (Y/n) (L/n).”

Though a little cautious, Christa shakes my hand. It isn’t long before her eyes are drawn towards a certain metal trinket around my neck.

“That’s a beautiful locket you have there. When did you get it?”

“I guess you could say it’s something of a family heirloom.” I shrug, removing the necklace from around my neck, “I mean, it’s something I’ve had for as long as I can remember, so I can only assume that’s what it is. Would you like to take a look?”

“Oh... I don’t really think I should be touching someone else’s things.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” I say, extending the necklace across the table.

Though a little hesitant, Christa takes the necklace from me. I watch in curiosity as she twirls the locket around.

“It opens.” I advised, meeting the gaze of the petite blonde.

Chrsta handles the locket with extreme care as she attempts to open it. Once she does, I notice her eyes sparkle with interest.

“The girl in the locket,” Christa smiles, “is it you?”

“No. My sister, I think.”

“Is that so? Where is she now?”

“She’s… deceased.”

A little startled by my response, Christa snaps my locket closed. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise-”

“It’s okay,” I assure the girl, “there was no way you would’ve known.”

Christa sets the locket down on the table at just the moment the entire mess hall goes silent. It was sudden enough that anyone would’ve noticed it. In fact, I don’t think there was a way to _not_ notice it.

“I… I’m going to kill every single one of them,” Eren declares, “I’ll join the Survey Corps and purge the world of the Titans!”

“Dude, are you nuts?” Almost in sync, the entire room turns to face none other than the brunette with an inflated ego. “Did you really just say you wanted to join the Scouts?”

“Damn straight,” Eren retorted, “and you’re planning to join the Military Police Brigade to take it easy, right?”

“I’m just an honest fellow. I think that’s preferable to acting tough when you're actually scared shitless.”

The two boys stand up from their seats and suddenly make their way towards each other. They both looked to be fairly irritated and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say they were about to tear each other apart.

That was, until the warning bell for curfew rang.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful to hear the sound of a bell before.

“I think I’ll be heading out for the night,” I stated, standing up from the table, “would you like me to take your tray for you?”

Christa fiddled with her skirt, “if it’s not any trouble for you, I wouldn’t mind.”

I nodded and took her tray.

If only I hadn't forgotten to grab a certain silver trinket before leaving the mess hall.


End file.
